Originally published in Revia Year End Special 1993
Peri meandered the TARDIS corridors as aimlessly as ever.
As the months spent in the TARDIS blew past her with ever-increasing
rapidity, she found that exploring the infinite paths of the
TARDIS could be at least as exciting as some of her adventures
outside the time machine (particularly that one with the Timelash
machine - how sad it was to be chained to a wall and attacked
by a deadly-yet-unconvincing monster!). Yes, the corridors
were more the life for her. Going on week-long excursions
into the catacombs of the deeper levels and looking for lost
treasures from the Doctor's past was potentially fascinating
stuff. Of course, the Doctor himself was all too busy repairing
bits of the TARDIS and rigging things to go wrong for his
next regeneration... so it was usually just her and Frobisher
who would climb aboard their trusty two-seated moped and cruise
the infinite corridors.
Right now she and that nutty penguin Frobisher were out exploring
the six or eight halls branching off from the tertiary TARDIS
sunroom, which was serving as their basecamp for the duration
of 'night'. Few of the rooms they had come across held anything
of interest to either of them, and Peri note that Frobisher
was still royally ticked at having found several cases of
chocolate pilchards-- several empty cases, that is.
It was not turning out to be a good day for either of them.
"Another bedroom."
Peri warily stuck her head through the doorway and quickly
confirmed Frobisher's observation. Another bedroom it was,
albeit a clean and well-organized bedroom. The bed was made
with pressed sheets and the carpet looked freshly vacuumed;
the image was completed with an enormous polished dresser
sitting in the middle of the opposite wall.
"Wow. It looks like one of the hotels Howard used to
force us to stay at," she quipped.
"Hmmm," Frobisher heaved his flabby little frame
through the door and padded through to the center of the room.
"Must've been great. Get up in the morning and take a
brisk half-hour jog to the closet."
Peri followed the penguin in and sat down on the bed, sighing
as the bedsprings took the weight off her feet. "Okay,
let's take a short rest here." She leaned back on the
bed and softly moaned. "Ohhhhh, why couldn't we have
had some beds like this back in the sunroom last night?"
"Probably because they wouldn't have fit." Frobisher
was stomping across the carpet, spelling his name out with
the impressions left by his big, webbed feet. "I wonder
why it's so clean in here... Most of the other bedrooms we've
seen were covered with inch-thick dust."
Peri sat up and looked around, frowning. "Y'know, you're
right. It's almost like somebody's just tidied up after using
it."
A light silence fell over the room as the two friends again
looked around the room. Simultaneously, their gazes met and
they turned in unison to the only furniture in the room apart
from the bed: the dresser.
The dresser was a simple affair with three large drawers,
a sparkling clean dresser top, and a simple square mirror
backing the whole job. Frobisher and Peri stood in front of
the dresser, starring at the three drawers and mentally daring
each other to make the first move. Peri had never been one
to pry into other people's stuff; the one time she's found
her college dorm roommate searching through her drawers had
left her feeling so exposed that she'd vowed never to do the
same to another. Frobisher, on the other hand, was just feeling
sadistic and was waiting for Peri to crack under the tension.
Eventually Frobisher became bored with the whole setup and
in a move of sudden fury threw the top drawer open with his
left flipper.
"Well, well, well. A Gideon bible. I didn't know the
Doctor cared." Unimpressed by his first find, Frobisher
slammed the first drawer shut and slid the middle one open.
"Empty. That's more his theological style."
Peri had overcome her initial reservations about looking
through other people's property and felt her curiosity grow.
After all, the Doctor wasn't just 'people'. He was a Lord
of Time, and he could hardly feel violated by a small peek
at the wonders contained in his dresser. She beat Frobisher
to the call and opened the third drawer herself.
It was filled with undergarments. Mostly frilly, petite,
USED undergarments. Frobisher gently picked out a leather
leotard with some nasty red stains and let it drop feebly
to the floor. Then a pink bikini bottom caught Peri's eye.
She keeled over and vomited for all her life.
Frobisher looked down helplessly at her. "I bet you'd
wondered where those had gone to...?"
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